How to Reframe Our Habits & Patterns
Last week’s post about leaving toxic jobs helped me reflect on my career moves: I resigned from every job I have ever had twice. The first time I listen to my intuition, then doubt would creep in, then by the second time I would experience such discomfort I’d have no choice but to leave. This is my pattern, but it’s also the classic pattern of universal guidance - we’re born knowing how powerful we are, parents/society/jobs often tests us to break this knowing out of us, and we re-learn (through trials and tribulations) to listen to our inner knowing again. It’s essentially the central plot in every hero/heroine’s journey. My hope is that you read this, applying this to your patterns, and learn from my mistakes and triumphs.
“Leaving” the first time is always pretty easy and innocuous. I get what some might call Senioritis around the 3.5-year mark. By then, I learned everything I was meant to, so the job gets repetitive, the politics become too much, and the daily glimmers are few and far between. My intuition hits the gas, and my guides dial up the heat to make sure I feel every uncomfortable moment. However, by this point I’m also invested in my relationships with colleagues and clients, integral to several projects driving the bottom line. Not a great combo for a Leo Sun/Scorpio Rising raised in an Irish-Catholic family where guilt and unwavering loyalty knew no bounds. I would muster the courage to put myself first and resign to my boss. The reaction is always a mix of shock that I was unhappy and a vow to get me to change my mind. This is when promises of promotions, growth opportunities, and “golden handcuffs” came in. This is also when my doubts crept in. I doubted myself and my worth, silenced my intuition, and eventually accepted whatever new offer would be laid out.
Typically, I lasted another 1-2 years until the stagnation and toxicity would hit a breaking point. The mostly broken promises from the first resignation would burn-off any loyalty, and I committed to the second resignation. I never lined up another job before I resigned and I would give myself a short break to bandage my burnout before doubts crept in, and I would take whatever was offered next as a life raft, jobs that inevitably underutilized my skill set and paid less than I deserved. Looking back, I know every job I had was a stepping stone to developing key skills I need in my life today. However, could there have been an easier road had I not ignored my intuition?
But with the last resignation, it was time to break the cycle. After a particularly rough 2022, I found myself bursting into tears at our holiday party and a friend said he was worried about my mental health. I made a vow to myself that I would not live like this for another year. By the following March, I had to cancel multiple trips when mental health concerns gave way to crippling migraines and panic attacks. The Universe and your spirit team will only allow you to bury your head for so long. I decided to plan my exit, but this time from an empowered place. No more life rafts.
But I also knew I couldn’t do this alone. With the help of a teacher and a coach, I created a daily mindfulness practice to strengthen my intuition and connection to my guides, sold my condo, moved across the country, pushed my succession plan forward at work, and ensured I was ready to embrace my new path, feeling empowered and ready. I spent six years pouring my heart and soul into a place that stopped caring about me when I resigned; it was time to invest in myself. My coach Alex (you know her!) helped me to channel my passion for empowering people to overcome their burnout through self focused energy work, just as I had done, into a career. Now, I wake up every day happy and grateful to my guides, and the Universe and most of all myself, for showing me the way and being able to find my purpose led path. This road isn’t always a cake-walk but it’s certainly not the Hell’s Kitchen from where I came.
Is your intuition screaming for you to close a chapter, but you feel stuck without an inkling of how to do so?